Just Another Day

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February 1, 2017

With just 8 days left in my Soylent challenge, I’m feeling confident that I’ll cross my finish line without any major problems. However, I am extremely bored and over it. Still feel relatively good though. I had a frustrating day for other reasons, but despite those reasons, I felt decent, I guess.

Also, I realized that I’m incidentally a vegan. It feels good, but maybe that’s just because I’m eating so much cleaner in general. I’ve never been much of a meat-person anyway, but I don’t think I could do without dairy products. Now that I’m fantasizing about non-meat animal products, I could actually go for some flavored gelatin. A nice alcoholic jello mold.

I FEEL BORING

Non-dairily,

Frank

P.S. Metrics, She Wrote

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Counterpoint

Hey Taj (and others),

I’m here to provide a visual counterpoint to Soylent-gate. I am SUPPOSED “working with a dietician” and am supposed to be “eating a low carb, low sugar, high protein diet”. As you can see, I have done some calculations and have translated this advice into “constant breakfast foods that are both high in sugar, high in carbs, and low in protein”. Good going, Barr. In other words, below you will find a visual account of all the things I ate today. It’s sort of self-flagellation and also an overly-complicated spin on a food diary. Join me.

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Woman: But isn’t all food bad for you? I’ve been eating lasagna and muffins every day of my life for 40 years and I feel terrible.

Ann Perkins: Great.

G’nite!

Barr

Muk-bang Dreams

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January 29, 2017

So I had the Cappuccino Joylent today – bottom line: it tasted gross. It barely had a coffee flavo(u)r and it absolutely did have the same gritty, particle texture that the Speculaas Joylent had. But at least the Speculaas was tasty.

I discovered a sub-genre of internet video bullshit called Muk-bang, which is “an online broadcast in which a host eats large quantities of food while interacting with their audience.” Basically, I’m watching people eat fuck-tons of food.

Here’s one where a guy with a parrot named Noodle eats a fuck-ton of spicy noodles:

Those noodles look so delicious you guys.

Look at all this food:

Jesus Christ:

Literally somebody please just fucking kill me:

Also, I’ve noticed a slightly annoying film that develops on the backs of my teeth – like a mouth feel after a couple days without brushing. Pretty annoying.

Would eat nearly anything,

Frank

P.S. Metrics, She Wrote

Joylent

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January 28, 2017

Because Soylent isn’t yet available for distribution in Europe and other parts of the world, some non-US competitors have been popping up, most notably Joylent. I was graciously gifted a couple bags of the powdered Joylent (shout out to my good Judy, Phil), so I substituted a couple of my Soylent meals this weekend with it.

I tried the limited seasonal flavo(u)r, Speculaas, which tastes like a gingerbread cookie. It certainly was tasty, though the texture was notably grainier than any of the Soylent products that I’ve tried. While it was nice to branch into new flavo(u)r territory, I probably won’t be returning to Joylent again.

I did also receive a Cappucino flavo(u)r, which I will write about as soon as I try.

In other news, I’m more-than-concerned with Trump’s new policies regarding refugees and immigrants. As recommended by my good Judy, Jonathan, I’ve made a small donation to the US Committee for Refugees and Immigrants, one of the refugee resettlement agencies in America, to provide legal services to refugees and immigrants.

To all those involved in protests today and in the foreseeable future, I support you and urge you to be careful.

To all those can’t be involved in protests today, I encourage you to donate here, if you are able.

Be safe,

Frank

P.S. Metrics, She Wrote

 

 

I Was Too Sick To Write Last Night

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But I think my energy is returning to me today. As colds go, my body has pressed through this one with impressive strength and efficiency. I’ve had very mild symptoms beside exhaustion.

If I don’t feel better by tonight, I may have to eat some NUTS.

Frank

P.S. Metrics, She Wrote

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The was the first gif that came up when I googled, “walking through a field”.

Sick?

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January 25, 2017

I think I’m coming down with a cold. I feel achy, dry, and weird. The Soylent can’t protect me from this, apparently. Maybe it’s possible the lack of physical, traditional food has compromised my immune system? Not sure – but I still feel mentally great. Very positive and stable and capable.

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With the way folks have been hacking and coughing around the office for the past month, I’m surprised I haven’t caught something until now – and maybe thanks is partially due to Soylent for that. But still – it’s here – the cold – and I feel that it’s only gonna get worse (but maybe not that worse – thanks Soylent? – or fuck you Soylent? – I technically haven’t had a cold, weak or strong, in about a year – so maybe fuck you Soylent?).

Smooth and creamy yet weak,

Frank

P.S. Metrics, She Coughed and spilled her Theraflu all over the goddam floor

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Fever Dream

I Use Filtered Water

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January 25, 2017

This Soylent is running me through Brita filters much faster than usual. I mix my drinks with filtered water because if I’m going to be drinking so much of it, I want it to be as pure as possible. I’m not certain of the quality of Jersey City water, though generally the tap water in the NYC Metropolitan area is very good. Still, I don’t want to take chances.

I have nothing else to say. Here’s this:

Honestly, Truly,

Frank

P.S. Metrics, She Wrote