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January 13, 2017

The tiny people responsible for operating my body may finally be catching on to this experiment of mine.

While I had trouble consuming my entire pitcher of Soylent on each of the first three days – leading me to some late-night chugging that was negatively impacting my quality of sleep – today, I had nearly finished my pitcher shortly after lunch, and I had to stop myself from finishing the entire thing before dinnertime.

It seems like my body is finally realizing that this sweet cement thing is going to be every day, and so it’s going into a sort-of panic mode – telling me to consume everything possible. However, I really don’t think I require more than 2190 calories a day, so I’m staving off the hunger pains with lots of water and tea.

Because smells are basically just molecules – tiny pieces of the things we’re smelling – I’ve also been smelling real hard around the company buffet (my company, Audible, has a daily lunch buffet), pretending that I can eat through my nose (which, it turns out, you actually can).

I’m proud to say that I made it clear through a social event for the 2017 Queens World Film Festival without eating or drinking anything but seltzer and the idea of a lime. And though the Wendy’s my friends got on the way home smelled disgustingly delicious and I wanted to die, still, I didn’t have a bite.

Metrics, She Wrote

Desperate for a grilled chicken breast,


P.S. Come see Tight Pants at the Museum of the Moving Image on March 18, part of the 2017 Queens World Film Festival. Tickets available soon!