Frank Anderson, here.
I write this over a Green Egg Curry and Jeera Rice from my favorite takeout restaurant, EggMania in Jersey City. This will be my final, solid meal (basically) for the next 31 days.
About a year ago, I started a subscription to Soylent, a purveyor of meal replacement products marketed to folks more interested in efficiency and nutrition than in flavor and – well… food. I began modestly: only consuming 12 highly efficient/strangely satisfying meal beverages, mostly as a way to stop myself from eating out when I didn’t feel like cooking (lol, I don’t cook).
So why am I escalating my Soylent situation so drastically? It’s a new year and I want to do something silly and punishing. And I guess I’m sure I probably maybe did something to deserve this.
To further my daily anguish, I will also be listening to audiobooks written and narrated by the shockingly prolific Ann Coulter on my daily commute. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a way to do this without also giving her money, but I’ll justify this as an education in Horrible People.
What I’m Consuming
In order to remain relatively well-balanced and achieve my minimum caloric requirement every day, I will also be consuming the following (most of which are already a regular part of my daily intake):
- Soylent (mainly the powdered version but I also have the bottle versions in Original, Cacao, Nectar, and Coffiest)
- 1 tbsp of Chia Seeds
- 1 tbsp of Coconut Oil
- 12 oz of Tea (Green, Black, or White)
- 8 oz of Coffee
- Vitamins/Supplements (Fish Oil, Vitamin D, Probiotic, Ginkgo Biloba, Melatonin, Magnesium)
- 1 serving of protein powder (only after working out)
If I find myself undernourished or feeling distressingly weak, I will add a serving or two of nuts as well (roasted almonds or peanut butter).
- Increased Overall Sexiness
- Improved Awareness of My Diet
- Improved Overall Health
- My coworkers will think I’m drinking a gallon of dairy creamer every day
- My mother will think I’m killing myself
- I will bond with Ann Coulter
- I will lose control of my bowels (in public?)
- I will say something really mean to someone because I just want a goddam sandwich
- Eternal Beige
However this turns out, I need to give a great big thank you to Coleen, Ali, and Kristyn who were very gracious in offering their charming blog to host the notes on my journey. I’d also like to acknowledge The Hustle and Josh Helton, whose Soylent Challenge blog inspired my effort.
I’ve mixed my first pitcher (supplied generously by the Soylent team) – it’s chilling in the fridge. So it begins.
Milky and Smooth,
P.S. I’m melting Mamma Mia! by Vintage Chic Scents, and it’s just lovely.